Tuesday, June 10, 2008 @ 10:45 PM
seriously...i feel so fk up! my life is like what the hell! everything is i do! fk can! this is like so fking impt and i am the only one doing it and what's wrong with seeking help!? will die!? FK LAR! pls lar! i am fking tired ler! have you care about how i feel!? just because you are irritated so you vent your fking attitude to me?! what's this man!! hello! i have to face all this things till i have no time to sit and rest and think about everything! you say i show attitude? have you been with me for long!? HAVE YOU!? mny hand hurts when i type all this and you know who caused all this!? is YOU!! i have no fking way to vent my anger and i feel so fking depressed and who can i tell to!? no one! NO ONE!!! i have to swallow all this bitter and tears all into my heart and even have to smile and joke in front of you! and i really have to let it out NOW! do you know i am fking scared!? scared that i will do those things again!! SERIOUSLY I AM SCARED!!
i really hope to die! this is the 2nd time i ever think of this!? two years!! it have been two years since i last hurt myself...and today..well..i did it again...in another way..
the hurt you make in my heart will never dissappear till the physical scars are all gone...and those wounds in my heart hurts more than on my physical body...seriously...i have no more hearts to deal with other staffs again!! my holiday...just..sucks!! i seriously don't wanna see you anymore!!
WHY MY LIFE IS ALL IN A FKING MESS!? WHY AM I HURT ONCE AND AGAIN!? WHY MUST I BE THE ONE!? ALL I EVER HOPE IS JUST TO STAY FREE AND HAPPY BUT WHY CANT I!? WHY MUST ALL THIS FKING PROBLEMS HAPPEN TO ME!!?? WHY!? WHO THE FK CAN TELL ME!? WHY MUST I ENDURE ALL THIS EVEN THOUGH I AM SICK!??
i hate to live in this mess..this fking mess..perhaps "that" is the only way to end it...perpahps...